I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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