do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
