Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
