Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
