did you get engaged???
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
