my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
