those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
