She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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