I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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