I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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