Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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