She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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