Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
