wanna go halves on a baby?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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