don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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