I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
