He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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