dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
