you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
