I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
