so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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