dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
