guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize