we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
