I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
