there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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