What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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