Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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