She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just blew my weed a kiss
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
