If i come over, it means nothing
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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