Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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