using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize