It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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