can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
