you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
