Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
