Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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