You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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