um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
