I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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