I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
