You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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