so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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