his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize