So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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