so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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