So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
