the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i already hear my dad disowning me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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