I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
4 words: hood of his car
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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