I think I died a long time ago.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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