Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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