glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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