if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
