i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
