That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
