walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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