yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
