I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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