Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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