I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
