my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
