your thong is hanging out like whoa
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
